Fresh off the tree and under seasoned. This wood will get hot eventually, but the show will be over by then. | Hi! I’m Gretchen! I’m a log and… and… and… I’m three years old! Three! I can count to three! One-two-three, pick me-me-me for your next campfire. That’s right–me, Gretchen! I’m ready for this, you know. I’m real mature for my age, too. I mean, some logs say that a three year old isn’t a very old log or a very responsible log… but they’re wrong! It isn’t true that a green log won’t burn as brightly or as warmly as an older log. It just isn’t true! Why do the older logs always pick on the younger logs? There’s no reason for it. I’m just as good as them! I don’t need experience. I don’t need time. I can do it now, now, now! And that’s the whole truth. Did you like it? Did you like my story? Would you like to read me a story? Do you want to play a game?