Firewood that is more mud than actual wood. How did it get there? What were they doing? So my mama always tol’ me to be careful when I was out runnin’ around with the other young logs. “Don’t cha dare get dirty, Dilbert. Ain’t nobody gonna let cha in their house then.” Well, I was a rebellious lil’ guy, always gettin’ into trouble. When nobodies was watchin’, I’d jump in a mud puddle just for the fun of it. Always did get mama’s goat. One time, I got together with my buddy Albert, an’ the two of us rolled right down this great big hill, must’ve been maybe thirty or forty feet high, an’ when we got to the bottom the both of us were jes’ covered in grass and dirt and who knows what else. Well, I thought I was havin’ a pretty good time, ‘til I got a lil’ over an’ remembered what my mama had said. Seems like there ain’t nobody willin’ to buy a dirty piece of wood. Like it ain’t natural for a young log to wanna have a good time.