Improperly split wood. Like a bad relationship or crazy relatives, it never seems to burn out or go away. | Hey, man. ‘Sup? I’m just dropping by to say hi. Haven’t seen you in a long time, not since… Saturday. Last Saturday was cool time, huh, man? We, like, went dancing and had that party and ate that uber delicious food… Do you happen to have any food, man? No, don’t get up, I’ll just look in your fridge. Hey, since you’re looking at the back side of me already, do you think this cut makes me look “wide”? You know, like the lumberjack’s hand slipped and… It does? Wow, man, you’re cold. Real cold, man. You’re lucky I like you, or I’d go home right now. Hey, why’d we have a party last Saturday, anyway? Your birthday? Well, happy birthday, man. Sorry, I didn’t get you a card–I had no idea! But you did kinda look like you were getting old.